RELEASE DAY BLITZ: REVIEW, EXCERPT, TEASERS, AND GIVEAWAY: You Loved Me At My Weakest by Evie Harper

Emily

Broken, used and worthless.

They are the words that have been branded into my mind for the past five years.

Now freed, but they stole my smile and left me with only tears.

My dreams of the future died right before my eyes.

I’m fighting to find my way back, but I’m too weak.

Kanye

I won’t let her walk this road alone.

I’ll hold on for her. The dark can’t last forever.

Her heart beat keeps time for the rest of my life.

Our fate will not be denied or erased.

It will be beautiful.

“How great your love is for me.” I whisper.

“Forever Emmy”

5 years of being beaten

5 years of being treated like a dirty, worthless whore

5 years of losing herself in the pain and darkness because the reality was too much to bear

5 years of becoming a different Emily…in her mind, a weaker one…one who stopped fighting and gave in because it was just easier to allow it to happen and let it be over with quicker

After all of those years as a kidnapped sex slave, there’s no way Emily will ever return to who she was. In her mind, she’s tainted and dirtied. Her soul is scarred, and the damage is irreversible. Freedom isn’t something she can grasp…moving forward is easier said than done. Having a life with the man who saw her as his perfect, beautiful Emmy is not something she can comprehend because she’s not that person anymore, and she’ll never be. Emily feels weak, pathetic, used, and defiled, and she doesn’t know how to release the demons inside of her…the darkness that consumes her and threatens to eat her alive.

You Loved Me At My Weakest is the second book in Evie Harper’s You Loved Me series, and it tells Emily and Kayne’s story. Emily is Jake’s little sister – the person he became part of Marco’s crew for…the person he would never stop fighting for until he had her home and safe. But 5 years of captivity has inflicted an immense amount of damage on Emmy, physically, mentally, and emotionally, so her new lease on life – a life she never thought she would live again is more of a struggle than anything else. The verbal and physical abuse Emmy received at the hands of her captor as well as the men who wanted to “own” a piece of Marco’s collection has scarred her soul and broken not only her body but her mind. She feels weak…she feels damaged…she feels ruined and broken and regardless of what anyone else says to her, she can’t climb out of that dark abyss of negativity, so she does what she needs to do to survive and to allow everyone to move on without her past tainting their future. But everyone sees behind Emmy’s façade of normalcy and vows to stand by her and fight for her when she can’t do it herself, which is exactly what will allow her to take back her control and see herself as something other than weak and worthless.

Emmy’s journey is not an easy one to read. It’s filled with self loathing and excruciating pain. Evie Harper does an amazing job of capturing all of Emmy’s self hatred and dark feelings through her first person perspective. It’s heartbreaking to witness Emmy’s struggle and feel just as helpless as Kayne and her family to help her to see that she’s not the things she thinks she is. But it’s also important for Evie not to sugar coat anything and to illustrate the darkness that has stowed away inside of Emmy. The Emily that was created inside that hellish world of the Collection is extremely difficult to break free from, and Emmy is coping the best way she knows how; of course it’s not the way those on the outside want her to cope, but they weren’t there; they didn’t endure the torture and abuse for 5 long years, so it’s not going to be on their timeline but on her own and who truly knows what it’s going to take to break her free from those chains that were latched around her mind and soul as a sex slave.

Kayne – Emily is his heart and soul – she’s his one, and for the five years that she was missing, he never stopped fighting for her and looking for her. His Emmy is lost when she returns to him, but that doesn’t stop him from being a permanent presence in her life and letting her know in no uncertain terms that he isn’t going anywhere. His strength and determination to get Emmy to open up to him is truly remarkable. He never waivers; he never gives up hope that she’ll admit her true feelings for him and stop pushing him away and thinking that he’s better off without her.

You Loved Me At My Weakest is a story of a young woman who has been stripped of her self worth at the hands of the devil and struggles to purge herself of the filthy words that absorb her mind due to her captors’ mistreatment. It’s a story about a woman at her weakest finding the strength to endure even when she feels like she doesn’t hold the power to do so. It’s a story about a man fighting for the woman he loves, every step of the way, never failing to show her, her self worth and the love he feels for her.

It’s a beautifully written story that will tear readers’ hearts apart and slowly put them back together as they walk with Emmy and Kayne through the darkness and find the strength to carry on and smile again despite everything that’s been taken from them.

A complimentary copy was provided in exchange for an honest review.

5 Poison Apples

Found, saved, released… freed.

Should I have a smile on my face? I should be happy, right? I’m going home. I’m going to see my family and I’m going to be safe from now on. No more hands touching me. No more bruises to watch fade away from my skin.

But I’m broken, ruined, and worthless. What can I offer them? I’m tainted. Darkness has touched me more times than I can wrap my mind around.

This suburban family doesn’t know what true evil is. I’ve laid beside the devil countless times and he’s turned me black. Inside and out.

The world around me grows louder and I come out of my thoughts, staring at the ground. I turn my head to look for Kanye, who is standing behind me. We just stepped off the plane that brought me home. He’s watching me, again. Each time I glimpse a look at him, my breath catches. He hasn’t changed at all in the last five years. Still the most handsome man I’ve ever laid eyes on. His wild, short blond hair and deep blue eyes that tell me he’s so much more than just a pretty face; his thoughts are always deep and meaningful. His body is still fit and muscular. My head still only comes up to his eye level.

Shouts distract me from my examination. I look around and find my parents sprinting toward me. Across the airstrip not listening to any of the men screaming behind them to stop. My mother drops her handbag, items spilling from it; however, she doesn’t stop to pick it up.

Time slows for just a moment as I watch my parents. My mother’s short brown hair whips in the air. Her eyes wide with tears falling. I can see one of the teardrops hit her red shirt, and there it sits, a lone wet tear, a teardrop for me.

My father’s cheeks are puffing in and out heavily. His arms pumping hard, I watch as each vein pops up as he pulls and pushes his arms backwards and forwards.

I tilt my head to the side. They’re running toward me, to embrace me. To comfort me? How long will it take them to realize their Emily is gone. How long until they realize I’m repulsive. And I will lose them, all over again.

I’m scared of their touch. Light, loving, forgiving.

Oomph! They’ve crashed into me and time sets back to present and harsh reality.

My dad picks me up, circles his arms around my body, and cries into my neck. My mother hugs me from behind. I feel her tears soaking through my shirt.

I’m scared. My chest feels heavy. My heart begins to swell. It expands and the ice around my heart starts cracking, breaking off in tiny pieces.

My mother’s sobs turn into screams at my back and larger pieces of ice break off. I’m left with just a swollen heart, who just let everything in. Pain, suffering, torment, relief, love. I can feel it all and it’s too much. But I can’t turn it off.

My chest starts heaving, but my mouth refuses to open and let out the cries that are now clawing at my lips to let them have a voice. A voice… they’ve never had a voice. Someone who cared what they cried, someone who would fix the hurt they were feeling.

It’s happening. My body melts into my father’s. My eyes sting and blur. Slowly, I open my mouth and there they are. The cries. They’ve gone ignored and unwanted for so long. They are mine. My cries of pain, torment and my relief.

My father jolts at the agonizing sound that’s ripped from my throat. My mother stands back and repeats my name on a whisper.

Hands wrap around me from behind and I know whose they are. The one person who at this moment is going to send me over the edge. Kanye.

I fall into him, his warmth, and strong arms. We collapse to the ground and he holds me to him. My head to his neck and his hand under my knees.

Kanye repeats on a whisper while rocking us on the ground, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

I continue to let my precious cries go, while the man I love and the man I cried out for so often apologizes for the pain he didn’t inflict. Pain I can see he has inflicted on himself.

I’m letting my pain go and sharing it with the world. Now everyone around me knows just how much agony I’m in. And they’re listening; they will try to help. They can’t. But at least someone cares. That’s all I ever wanted.