RELEASE DAY BLITZ: REVIEW, EXCERPT, AND GIVEAWAY: Desertion by River Savage

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Synopsis

Honor.
Courage.
Commitment.

Three things Jesse Carter has lost. A former Marine, Jesse used to stand proud of his achievements and live by the code. But when circumstance made him question everything he believed in, those most basic values didn’t feel so important after all.

Sex.
Lies.
Knights Rebels.

Three things Jesse Carter has found. Reborn into a brotherhood not so different from the one he left behind, Jesse finds it all too easy to block out his past and claim the role as the Rebels’ fun loving player.
Until he meets Bell.

Shy, awkward, and with troubles of her own, Bell Johnson’s no stranger to hiding her pain. When Jesse forces himself into her life, she’s at risk of her defenses crumbling.

Does Bell have the strength to survive Jesse and his demons or is she fated to become another casualty in the self-destruction of Jesse Carter?

Review

Out of all of River Savage’s Knights Rebels, Jesse Carter is the one who had my attention from the first book, and I think it’s because it was fairly easy for me to see behind the crass, foul-mouthed manwhore facade he plays up and understand that beneath his carefree attitude is a man who’s suffering more than anyone knows, and with the release of Desertion, I could finally read his story and see the real Jesse he hides from everyone.

At first, I had a hard time seeing Jesse’s lust for Bell. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a sweetheart with a heart of gold, but she’s allowed her family to dictate her life for many years, putting everything in her life on old, and she hates it but doesn’t do anything about it. Now, there are definitely valid reasons why Bell allows her mom to tether her to her family, but it didn’t make sense to me how Jesse could be attracted to someone so shy and docile. But Belle does surprise me as the story continues, and she holds her own with Jesse on numerous occasions and then begins building herself up to acquire the types of freedom that a 23 year old woman should have.

Jesse Carter

My emotions ran the gamut for this retired Marine and badass biker. When Bell describes Jesse’s words as weapons, she couldn’t describe his coping method any better. Jesse’s choices of words can be sweet and sexy…crude and provocative…brutal and belittling. When he’s fighting his demons, he definitely pushes boundaries to protect his reality, but sometimes his bullshit words get out of control and the damage he does isn’t easy to see past.

There are numerous occasions when I wanted to slap him in the face and knock some sense into him, but I also understood that his past with his father and his time overseas completely altered his life, creating guilt, darkness, and ugliness that takes a hell of a lot of work to climb out of, and no one can force Jesse to do it when he doesn’t want to, which is exactly why I get why Bell does what she does in order to protect herself.

Each of the couples in River Savages’ Knights Rebels MC series has to fight through individual demons and how they work their way in to destroy a relationship. It’s not easy or pretty and missteps definitely occur, but what River Savage also gives readers through these pairings is the hope that despite the bullshit…despite the chaos…despite the different worlds, love can happen…as long as you’re willing to fight for it.

A complimentary copy was provided in exchange for an honest review.

4 poison apples

Excerpt

I wake up to the heat of someone’s palm against my shoulder. Twisting around, my hand moves faster than my brain, and I snatch it off me.

“Jesse, it’s me, Bell,” she rushes out before I can take it any further.

“Fuck.” I release my grip on her arm and sit up, forcing myself back to the here and now.

“Did I hurt you?” I reach for her searching for any sign of a mark left by me.

“It’s fine. You barely touched me.” She holds her arm out letting me inspect it. I check it over one more time before releasing her and relaxing.

“You wanna talk about it?” I study her face, eyes calm, soft mouth. She’s not freaking out.

“Just some shit that visits my dreams sometimes, nothing that needs to touch you,” I reply, shocked I’m not retreating.

“I don’t mind, Jesse,” she pushes, and I almost cave. Almost.

“The last thing I want to do is talk about this shit, Bell.” She doesn’t argue or press, and I’m grateful for it. I don’t think I’d be able to keep my cool if she did.

“Come back to sleep.” She lies back down and I follow her. She doesn’t ask me any more questions, or make me feel like I need to tell her everything.

“That ever happens again, don’t wake me,” I warn. A menacing thought strikes through me picturing what could have happened if I didn’t wake in time. She’s lucky I didn’t hurt her, like the last time a woman touched me while I had a nightmare.

“You don’t always have to be so brave, Jesse.” Her hand moves to my dog tags. I don’t stop her. I’m starting to like the feeling of her hands touching them.

“Never tried to be, Bell. But talking doesn’t help me. Never has.” I think back to the time when I did try and it forced me out of control. Talking about those triggers only amplified my insecurities. When death sits afar, mocking you in the dangerous confines of your surroundings, it fucks with your head; nothing was going to change it.

Besides, my issues weren’t what I had done. They were what I had survived. My conscience wasn’t clear and my honor wasn’t clean.

“Promise me you won’t touch me.” I keep my tone even, controlled.

“I promise.” I take her hand in mine and bring it to my lips. Maybe one day I will let someone in. Let her in.

Today isn’t that day.

But today, I didn’t push her away.

That has to count for something.