As lead singer and guitarist of the internationally renowned Souls of the Knight, Sawyer Knight is living a life most men can only dream of. He’s surrounded by music, fame, wealth, women throwing themselves at his feet. He has everything…
Yet he has nothing.
Life as one of the world’s most sought after rock stars is tiring, oppressive and lonely. He spends every day being who the world wants him to be, who his manager tells him to be, who his mother expects him to be… all the while fighting against who he really is. Truth is, he’s used to it. He’s actually gotten pretty good at pretending… at living the lie.
Until Jake Reed, his ex-best friend and the only person who’s ever made him ‘feel’, waltzes back into his life as the band’s new head of security. Jake wants Sawyer – always has, always will. Now, he just needs to get Sawyer to admit that he feels the same…
“You will be mine, Sawyer Knight. The faster you try to run the quicker you’ll fall to your knees. Then, Sawyer… then you’ll be too weak to resist.”
“Show the world who Sawyer Knight really is.”
But who is he? The bad boy rocker who performs to sold out audiences? The player who has a different girl in his bed every night? Or, the man who refuses to accept who he is and lives a lonely, false existence because he’s too afraid of what others might think?
The answer isn’t an easy one because, in truth, he’s all of those things. For 10 years, he’s lived as Sawyer Knight, lead singer for Souls of Knight. But the Sawyer his fan sees and even most of his friends see is not the real Sawyer; the rocker persona is simply a mask to cover up who he really is. But now the one person who has the ability to break down Sawyer’s walls and help him to embrace the truth is back, and this time, he refuses to walk away.
Jake Reed has been in love with Sawyer since he was 14 years old, but when he acted on his feelings for him, Sawyer freaked out and walked away without a second glance. But now, 10 years later, Jake is back in Sawyer’s life as his head of security, and his plan is to protect Sawyer’s body as well as his heart. Jake knows that he has his work cut out for him in order to get Sawyer to admit that he’s not only gay but that he wants to be with Jake. Fear and denial are like a second skin to Sawyer, so in order to prove to Sawyer that he can be his everything, Jake diligently works his way through Sawyer’s barriers and into his heart.
But even if Sawyer is ready to admit who he really is to himself, will he have the courage to tell the world and risk being judged? And, with the threats on the band, could Jake’s single minded attention on Sawyer cause more harm than good?
I loved Being Sawyer Knight. It is one steamy m/m text, but it is also a love story of not only Sawyer and Jake, but of Sawyer himself. Through Sawyer’s struggles, readers understand how difficult it can be to not only admit but embrace who you truly are. Because the story is told through both Sawyer and Jake’s point of views, we are allowed to see both sides; one doesn’t hide behind a persona and the other can’t seem to break free of his, and that’s the exact journey that Nicola Haken takes us on, and just like Jake, we’re hoping Sawyer can work past the fear and be with the man he loves. Because when it’s all said and done, he’s the only one who truly matters.
“Be brave. Be honest. Be proud of who you are.”
A complimentary copy was provided in exchange for an honest review.
4.5 poison apples
“Jake, I-I…” Ignoring his doubts once again, I slowly pushed my finger inside his puckered hole, causing his cock to start pulsating against the back of my throat. “Ah, fuck,” he groaned. He was close, and it made me feel like a fucking king. After letting his arse adjust to the intrusion, I slowly worked my finger in and out while continuing to suck him harder and faster. When I entered a second finger, he started falling apart. “Jake stop. Stop, I’m gonna, I’m gonna come…”
Of course I ignored him. I had fantasised about tasting every last drop of him too many times to give up now. So, pumping my two fingers in and out of his tight hole in line with the same fast rhythm of my mouth on his cock, I worked him until the end.
“Jesus, fuck!” he growled through clenched teeth, as hot spurts of the most delicious fucking nectar I’d ever tasted shot towards the back of my throat. Easing my fingers out of him, I stroked his balls one last time while I licked his cock completely clean. Climbing to my feet, I stared at Sawyer, watching as he panted with his eyes closed.
“You taste so fucking good,” I whispered against the throbbing vein in his neck, before kissing my way up to his ear.
Then it came…
The regret.
The doubt.
The fucking denial.
He pushed me off him with two hands pressed against my chest and when I looked into his eyes, bursting with what looked like shame, I knew I’d lost him. Again.
“You need to leave,” he said, his words swamped with guilt.
“Don’t do this Sawyer. You can’t tell me you didn’t want that. That you didn’t enjoy it? The taste in my mouth is proof that you fucking loved every damn second of what I just did to you.”
“Please,” he practically begged, shoving his semi-erect cock back into his pants. “Leave. Now.”
“I’ll leave,” I surrendered. “But I’m not leaving. I won’t give up on you, Sawyer. You mean too damn much to me and I know you feel the same. You’re just scared.”
“Fuck you!” he spat, anger making the vein in the centre of his forehead pop out. That vein has reared its ugly head for as long as I can remember. If he got into a fight back in high school, it would protrude so much I used to worry it might explode. “You’ve not seen me in fucking years, Jake. So whatever you think, you don’t know me at all! Now get the fuck out of here before I do something I regret.”
“Funny, I thought you just did that,” were the last words I said before straightening my tie and turning my back on him.
This is going to be harder than I thought. But not impossible. He was right about one thing. We have changed – we’ve grown up. Back then I was his follower, I’d have done anything he’d asked because I was so fucking in love with him. But now, I’m in charge. He’s still living so far back in the closet if he were to stumble he’d end up in fucking Narnia. He’s still afraid, scared to go after what he wants.
Good job I’m not. I’ve grown into a determined man – a confident man. I get what I want, always. And I will be getting Sawyer Knight.
I’m a writer of New Adult, contemporary and m/m erotic romance. I’m a married mum of four (six if you include the dogs!) from the UK and can usually be found with a Kindle or MacBook in front of my face, or carrying out housewife/mother/all round slave duties. I’m a little bit mental and a whole lot of crazy with bordering on unhealthy addictions to tattoos, Pepsi Max and the CockyBoys! 😉
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Thank you for taking part in the tour! I’m so happy you enjoyed it 🙂